


With Warm Regards To Alfonso Ribeiro

by Yasuo_Karada



Category: DRAMAtical Murder (Visual Novel), DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Comedy, Domestic, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 23:54:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9096133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yasuo_Karada/pseuds/Yasuo_Karada
Summary: Koujaku orders matching ugly Christmas sweaters for him and Aoba! Except, it doesn't go quite as well as he had hoped.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kistunemaple](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=kistunemaple).



> Hey-o~! This is my fic for this year's Dramatical Murder Secret Santa event and I received kistunemaple as my giftee! One of their preferred couples was KouAo and it was basically anything goes so I wanted it to be a fun little thing. I hope this entertains, and have a happy new year!

"Nuh-uh. No way."  
  
Koujaku chuckled weakly and took a step closer to the door to the bathroom Aoba had so childishly locked himself in, because really, he was _being_ a child about this. "C'mon, Aoba, it'll be fun--"  
  
" _No!_ "  
  
It started out funnily enough; Mizuki mentioned to Koujaku one day while he swung by to pay his buddy a visit and kill time until Aoba got off work that he was planning to hold a party at his bar. It was an ugly sweater party, which meant the more hideous the attire the better. They were apparently really popular overseas and involved a lot (a _lot_ ) of alcohol, something that appealed very much to Koujaku. He was sure Aoba would be down to attend if he asked.  
  
The problem was, Koujaku's sense of fashion was impeccable and so he didn't have a single ugly article of clothing in his wardrobe (which Aoba would and often did beg to differ, but to each his own). Besides, their differing body types prevented them from sharing anything from Aoba's -- who insisted they weren't ugly, they were just too unique for him to understand, _stupid hippo_ \--  and so, he had no choice but to take to the internet.  
  
To say these sweaters were horrendous was the most generous thing Koujaku could've done in his entire life. From realistic cats on pizza slices flying through space to 8-bit raunchy Santa memes to dinosaurs wearing those fluffy red hats shooting laser beams from their eyes (complete with actual lights that actually lit up, holy _shit_ ), each one was just more ludicrous than the last and by the time he reached the third page of the international shopping website's variety of ugly holiday sweaters he had his face in his palm, body shaking from stifled laughter at the sheer stupidity of it all. Honestly, it was so hard to narrow it down to just two, they were all so glorious.  
  
In the end, he decided on a pair of sweaters featuring actors from an older American comedy show that he and Aoba both occasionally enjoyed on a green confetti and phone backdrop. God bless the internet.  
  
When the package actually came, the day of the party no less, Aoba was...not quite as enthused as Koujaku would've hoped.  
  
There was the initial shock and confusion when Aoba received the package at their doorstep. The company was of a foreign address and when he asked Koujaku about it, he was informed that it was their attire for the party that evening. At hearing this, Aoba's confusion instantly beamed into excitement. So far, so good.  
  
As they were getting ready and Koujaku pulled out the sweaters ( _wow_ , they were just as gloriously hideous as they were in their thumbnail online), Aoba stopped dead in the middle of pulling his bangs back into a pair of barrettes when he saw exactly what was on those sweaters.  
  
"Koujaku, what the hell is that?"  
  
"Uh," Koujaku raised an eyebrow and looked at the clothing he was carrying. "Our sweaters?"  
  
"Is that Ribeiro?" Aoba managed through stifled laughter.  
  
He didn't recognize one of the faces by the actor's name, so he assumed Aoba was referring to the one in his left hand. He handed it out to his boyfriend. "Yeah. This one is yours."  
  
Aoba's face scrunched in confusion and mild offense. "Why am _I_ Carlton? _You're_ the big dope, _you_ should wear him."  
  
They playfully bickered like that back and forth over who should wear whose face based on mundane things -- "I'm the charmer, so I should be Will," or "I'm not a giant dork, _I_ should be Will," which was met with "Okay, but your dancing is _terrible_ " and so on -- until it escalated to a comment about his height and Aoba grabbed both sweaters and ran across the living room towards the bathroom with a huff.  
  
Which is where they were now: Aoba holding their sweaters hostage on the other side of the locked door while Koujaku pawed at it like a puppy left outside in the rain.  
  
" _Aoba_ ," Koujaku whined, pressing his forehead against the door in defeat. "Please don't do this, we're going to be late."  
  
"Nope, I'm not leaving this room until you switch with me." Just for emphasis, the door vibrated from being met with a swift kick and Koujaku's pleas to not abuse his poor house.  
  
"I'll make you a deal," he decided ultimately. There was a grumble muffled by the door. "Wear that one just for this party then you get full dibs on the other one for however long you want. Sound okay?"  
  
This time there was silence, but Koujaku knew Aoba well enough to figure he was mulling over his compromise. He couldn't help but smirk at the lock clicking, taking a step back to allow Aoba space to exit the room; Aoba avoided eye contact by staring down at the floor, pouting with an apparently flushed face. "...You promise?"  
  
Koujaku's smirk erupted into a bright grin, Aoba was so cute when he was indignant. "Promise."  
  
And that was all it seemed to take for Aoba to grin back up at him in kind. He was forgiven, for the time being.  
  
"Okay! Let's hurry up and put these on, I want to see Mizuki's face." Aoba shoved the Will sweater into Koujaku's chest while he hastily pulled the other one over his head; he practically drowned in it, his body was so tiny. "I'm willing to bet you real money he's going to lose it."  
  
"How much do you want to bet he'll already have drunk too much to really notice?" Koujaku snickered as he followed suit (this one fit a bit more snug), then followed Aoba out the door after they bid their AllMates farewell for the evening. The two walked through the dimly lit streets of Midorijima, making petty bets and pointing in mutual amusement whenever they encountered a member of Benishigure or Dry Juice in similar attire. Eventually they had a small group huddled together, and by the time they reached Mizuki's parlor, the streets were just as rowdy as it was inside.  
  
"Hey, Mizuki!" Aoba called over the blaring music once they stepped into the shop and he caught sight of his friend. "Merry Christmas!"  
  
Mizuki turned at the familiar voice and looked like he was about to respond but his grin dropped and eyes widened the instant he saw Koujaku's and Aoba's sweaters; he doubled over in laughter and had to set down his drink to keep it from falling to the floor. Aoba looked over at Koujaku with a coy, triumphant smirk and an eyebrow raised.  
  
"I win."

**Author's Note:**

> Later, at the party, Aoba got so smashed he wound up stripping half his clothes anyway so Koujaku was both amused and baffled as to what the big deal was.
> 
> The aforementioned sweaters and inspiration for this are on Amazon at the following links. They are, indeed, glorious.
> 
> https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01N75G4IS/ref=ox_sc_act_title_1?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=A2QRHQDXXZ94F7
> 
> https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01N8WCJ7Y/ref=ox_sc_act_title_1?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=A2QRHQDXXZ94F7&th=1


End file.
